If you want something that another person is just not willing to provide you with, then you are left with two options: either to flex your muscles
(or get someone else to flex his muscles) and get your work done, or gently and tactfully talk the person into agreeing to your demands.
While the former will require you to don the role of a Bhai and change your occupation name into something colourful like Pakia or Circuit, the latter with its overpowering shades of grey diplomacy will bestow you with the aura of the consummate savoir-faire propagated in Machiavelli’s historic manuscript, “The Prince”.
Learn To Persuade
Persuading people is not just about convincing high placed government officials to endorse your ambitious projects or get your bank to give you a loan on low monthly interests. It’s also about convincing your boss to give you a promotion or a raise or getting a cute colleague to go out with you. Mastering the gentle art of persuasion will make you a winner for life.
Persuasion is basically a combination of several different traits. You need to be confident (not brash), fluent and self assured (and not sound like a bumbling idiot), and be appealing and engaging (and not slick). If you already have these skills, then you will find it a lot easier to persuade people to give in to your demands willingly, instead of coming off looking like a desperate, intimidating thug.
These Xpert tips will help you understand some of the tactics that you can use while trying to persuade people. But remember - persuasion is a skill, an art, and mastering this art may take you years of practice.
Charming people to death
If you are naturally charming, then you have won half the battle. If people are attracted to you, like to hear you talk and if woman swoon when you flash them a smile, then you have a very special gift.
Charm when coupled with confidence and ardour makes for a heady mixture. If you are a passionate and confident conversationalist, then you will be able to project an air of leadership, and get people to follow your words, thus making them do what you want.
Using logic
For those who aren’t naturally charming or are dealing with people who are only inspired by facts and rational arguments, using straightforward logic is the best bet. However, convincing people through logic isn’t the easiest thing in the world and will require you to do a lot of research and be thoroughly prepared with your case.
If you have to tackle some hard hearted character who you know will be immune to your charms, and will only bend if he feels that your arguments carry some weight, then, you will need to adequately arm yourself with rational and logical arguments, anticipate his objections and be prepared with convincing rebuttals.
Moreover, you would also have to instil confidence into your speech and not feel exasperated and bothered if the other party refuses to bend down. If you are able to remain focussed and calm, then the chances of your success are pretty high.
The Guilt Trip
It’s probably the easiest persuasion tactic in the book. Guilt trips work because the other person at some level is already aware that he or she should have done what you are now asking them to or at least feels that your demands are justified to a certain degree.
Don’t you remember how your mom dragged you to those boring social gatherings just by making you feeling unbearably guilty of having to let her go all alone, or your girlfriend guilt tripping you into buy her an obscenely expensive pair of earrings. So if they can use it, so can you. But as a word of caution, though guilt trips work well in personal relationships, they prove to be a dud in the boardroom where nobody gives a damn about how you feel.
Self Sacrifice
As a beautiful mishmash of peer pressure and guilt trips, persuading people to work harder can be easier by making them feel that they are working towards a greater good. If you want your subordinates to work harder or under trying conditions without complaining, convince them to work for the good of the team.
As long as they feel that rewards will soon be forthcoming if they are able to put their personal interests at rest for the moment, they will be more than willing to compromise on several issues.
The two ways of doing it are (a) to make the individual feel that because of his personal issues the entire project (and thus the team) is suffering and (b) that he is an indispensable part of the team and without his active participation the team can never hope to accomplish the project.
But the tactic of self sacrifice can only be effective as a short term solution. In the long run no one can be convinced to overlook his personal interests for the good of the team or the company. Moreover, you better make sure that whatever compensation you promised at the end of the hardships are kept. Otherwise, you will lose the trust of your subordinates for ever.
Dangling the carrot
If you are able to convince the other party that they will directly benefit if they agree to your proposal then your chances of winning them over will rise dramatically. Self interest and the desire for personal benefits is an overpowering force, which you can always use to your benefit.
However, always make sure that whatever promises you make are reasonable and realistic. Most people tend to become wary and cynical of promises that sound overly generous or are too good to be true. However, if you are honest about the forthcoming gains and benefits and yet sound excited about the future prospects of the other party, you will eventually be able to get their support.
The trick is to not sound over-zealous but confident. If you yourself are convinced that the deal will be profitable for both the parties, you will also be able to convince the other party as well.
Irrespective of what technique you use to convince other people, attempt it with confidence. If you can, don’t make it seem as if you are asking for a favour, instead persuade them to believe that you are doing them a favour by letting them help you.
